The Bookstore.

Everyone is getting married. And then there is ME.

It was Thursday, my friend calls yelling at the top of her lungs,"I'm engaged Ash, He wants to marry me!" As we yell/freak out, and talk about how exciting this is, in the back of my head I think about another one of my friends becoming engaged.. On Friday this girl and I hung out, she is thrilled, talking non stop about how is she going to be a wife, then a mommy, and everything under the sun. As I sit there listening to this girl that just turned 19, I can't help but think about me. I'm almost 19..Am I ready for marriage?

The answer is NO. I know with out a doubt I am not..this began to got me thinking, about all the things I would like to learn/do/accomplish/ before I get married.

The following day we went to Barns and Noble. My soon to be married friend, was going to "learn" how to be a good wife by reading about it. She said she knew how she wanted her husband to be, because she learned from her dad. So that wouldn't be a problem. As she went to the Relationship/Love aisle, pulling out book after book, I kept hearing the sentence,"I know how I want my husband to be, I have watched my dad!" over and over again. While my precious friend sat on the ground pondering how she was going to be the best wife sh could be, I thought about what kind of man I want to marry. What kind of dad, I would like my kids to have. Unfortunate, I can't just watch my dad. I can't watch how he treats my mom, and compare that to how I want to be treated. I can't observe how he treats his children, and say that's how I want my children to be treated..

(It has always been a bit scary to me thinking about the big M word. "Marriage". I know it is because of the marriage my parents have. I can't imagine getting married, and my husband just not caring. This causes me to be very skeptical, which I now see as an advantage. Although I did not watch the way a man should treat his wife, and although my dad never treated me like a way a man should treat his children. I know how a man shouldn't. Over the last year, I have thought about how I want to be treated, how I should treat others. It makes me so happy to know that I know what not to have in a relationship.)

After sitting at Barns and Noble for a good hour, I thought heck, I'll read a book. I found "Act like a Lady think like a Man" by Steve Harvey. I have heard about this book, from the Ellen show, Oprah, and just around. So I began to read it. I love it. I actually bought the book. It gives you so much insight. Well this completes my rant.:)

Cheers to finding Mr. Right.