Sometimes, I reach a point where I just honestly don't know why.
I can't think of reasons why...
Sincee I haven't blogged in 2 months, I thought now would be a good time. In December I went to Las Vegas with my best friend. I missed her so much, so it was really nice to reunite. Sadly, the day before she got there, I got really sick.. I was taken to the Vegas hospital and spend 3 nights there.
After my vacation, I had to come to the fact that something was not right. I had been sick, for about 2 months before this, and I just never really felt good. Long story short.. I went to the doctor and I had all the signs of cancer.
I was petrified.
I went into surgery on my stomach and esphagus about a week ago. They found spots in my esophagus and stomach, and are running tests on them, to see if they are cancerous or not..
I can not begin to explain my emotions this last month. I have felt overwhelmed with stress, due to the fact that attendance is so much of my grades at school. I go to school feeling worse then ever. I have been in shock for a while now..and honestly it all just seems like a really real nightmare. I try to be strong, but you get to a point where you just think "Are you kidding me right now?" I'm confused, nervous, and humbled.
There is one feeling I hardly ever have felt throughout this journey. That is lonely. I have had friends barging into my house to keep me company as I layed in bed and thrown up. I have had inspiring texts/ letters given to me all the time. Most importantly, my Heavenly Father has been/ and is with me throughout all this. I know whatever happens, it happens for a reason. Even though it is hard at times wondering... Really? ME? But somehow God knows I can handle this, and that is what I keep telling myself everyday.
I have courage.
I am strong.
This is my life.
