Enjoying the small things.

The last month has been way stressful for me. I have been on go-go-go mode for ever!

I read some quote a couple days ago  about being thankful for the small things in life. So yesterday and today I made a point to be happy for little things in my life.

Seriously, it was a pretty cool way to look at life.

So what I am recently thankful for?

 

This girl came to visit me! I love this girl more then she even knows. She makes me laugh my face off every 3 seconds. We always have weird-fun-crazy experiences happen to us. Plus she is a total babe. So thankful for her, and especially for or rapping sessions in the car. And our Olive Garden love'n.

This picture makes me smile. Today was my grandmas' birthday. You better believe we partied all day long. And did some saddle sitting at Texas Road House! She has the energy of a 16 year old and confidence better then anyone I know. She is a true example of selflessness and love. She is always willing to serve others and she is so kind! I love this woman so much, she is such a role model to me. Also, every time I see my grandma and grandpa together you can not deny for one moment the love they have for each other. I look forward to having that love one day.

 Sorry for the blurry picture... But yeah you saw that right?! 19 credit hours and all A's. So glad another semester is checked off! Totally thankful for those grades, and the opportunity for a college degree.

Lastly, I went on a first date tonight. We went to the movies! In the middle of the show a rather large man got up to get a refile.. On his way back his HUGE drink fell and splattered... But guess what?! It barely missed me and landed on the ground. I am so glad that happened. I can not explain how awkward it would be walking out of the movie on this first date with water all on pants....:/

:)

I won't be like that.

I have tried for two days to blog.

I have deleted my posts a million times, because I never knew what/ how to say things.

But who am I kidding. 3 people read my blog. Hahah. And I am sure they don't even read it...

What has been going on in my life you ask? (Kidding, I totally know you can care less)But I will tell you...;)

 

Uhhhh... Mitch and I broke up. (bare with me as I ramble about this subject)

We haven't been having the best relationship for a while, and I know "breaking up" has been on our minds for some time. We both knew it was coming which puts in on a different "weird level".  WE had been in a relationship for a year and 3 days technically, and it has been exactly 2 weeks since that night.

I have always HATED seeing couples who were madly in love with each other break up, and treat each other like complete CRAP. 

HATED IT.

So I told myself since day one, I won't be like that. 

Time before the Break up we weren't exactly the nicest to each other. We were mean. Rude. Immature. And Ridiculous...which doesn't make me the happiest.

However. The night of the Break Up, in my opinion could not have been more better for an awful scenerio?

Lets back up though, before you are assume. I loved this guy. He loved me. 5 months ago if you told me we would be done a couple days after our 1yr anniversary I would honestly probably role my eyes and think you were nuts. I wanted nothing but the best for us. For me. For him. I seriously thought he could be "The One".  But things come up in relationships, and sometimes you can fix things, and other times you can't. Unfortunately, we could not fix things.

...

So now you can stop assuming that I loved this "break up" because I hated it. Now lets get something else out of the way. It was MUTUAL. Which was waaaay good. Like I was saying above, it was the perfect way to end something unfortunately we had to let go of. It was unhealthy. 

The day after all of this. I was confused. I was questioning things. I hoped and prayed we made the right decision. I remember going somewhere, and someone asked for my number. I replied "Oh no, I have a boyfriend."Then it hit me. I don't. WE are over. Our relationship is over. I am single. He is single. I lost it. (The guy probably thought I was in the Psych Ward or something haha.) But at that moment it hit me. 

2 weeks later and where am I you ask? (I know you are not asking this question either...;))

I am okay. I am great. I am great for many reasons. Yes, I miss Mitch. Yes, sometimes I see something I wanna show him, or want to tell him about something. But then I think "oh we don't talk". And then I am okay. In the begining it was new for me. And now looking back how could it not be weird? I used to think about him all the time? Why all of the sudden stop? I got over that phase. Then the new phase came suprisingly. The "Why" phase. To be honest I was mad/sad/upset/angry. Yes, I wish sometimes I didn't hear certain things he told me repeating in my head. Yes, I wished he did things better. Yes, I wish this and I wish that. But that is life.

My friends are astonished I am not mad. But the thing is this. I was madly in love with this guy. I seriously would do anytttthiiiiiing for him. Holy Cow I loved him ya'll. To be honest. I still without a doubt care for him. In a different way. My bitterness is gone. I want the best for him. A couple nights I went on my "first date" since all this. This guy I went with said something along the lines of "From 1-10 how much do you hate your ex". I thought for a moment and said "Not at all"? Seriously, that seems so absurd to me. I want us both to be happy. I do not regret our relationship. I learned so much from it. I am so thankful for our relationship. I care for him, and I wish nothing but the best for him. No, I don't think we will be seeing each other tomorrow and being best friends by any means. But still

Next subject.

Awkward dating scene. 

I always hated the "dating scene".

I have been blessed to go on 2 dates since this "break up".

With 2 amazing, caring guys. 

I am so glad these 2 dates have been good. 

"Easing my way back into single life one good date as a time" Julie says.

Well that is a wrap.