ohhh man.

I may be to old for this now..Bummer.

Reality is finally hitting me...
I have been blocking this "reality" thing out of my head. But you can only block it out for so long..So unfortunately, I have sadly begun to think about all this. Reality is I have 21 days before school starts. 21 days. There is honestly no way. I am somehow supposed to "grow up" with in these last 21 days,get my parking pass, order my books, find me some "college gal clothes" haha, and have a life. As you can see I have been putting everything off as long as I can. I have so much fear, and anxiety about the big "1st day of school thing"... Like you have no idea..
First off, what do you wear? I mean that is always a big question for the first day of school right? Second Off, I have no idea where am I supposed to be going?3rd off, ahhh. What if no one likes me? Hahah I get this sounds cheesy and lame, but for real? If anyone has any advice please pour it my way...:)
Kinda the same subject...
Sometimes I feel different then other girls. I somehow have aways had "older friends". Most of my closest friends, are any where between 20-25. I learn so much from them, don't get me wrong. But sometimes..it is so hard. 6 of my friends back home, are having babies. My friends are all growing up. They are getting married. Finishing up with college. Having babies. Starting new chapters in their life.. Then here I am scared to death, starting college. I know it will be hard, I know I will have to work my butt off, and I know I will have to discipline my self. I'm petrified. I am so so grateful to have friends that are so strong, and driven. Even though I get picked on for being the "little girl" with all my friends, I really appreciate their examples beyond belief. I don't know how they do what they do, getting married, staying full time in school, working part time jobs, and pregnant. Holy determination. So to all my old friends. When I become old like you (Hoper sooner then later ha) I want to be just like yall. You guys inspire me more then anything.


As much stress that is coming my way. I want to have fun. I don't want it all to eat me up. I want to keep living life to the fullest. I hope and pray the next 4 years, go by fast. I hope this next year will welcome me. Here is a cute quote I found.."I guess when it comes down to it being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up These are the best days of our lives the only thing that matters is just following your heart And eventually you'll finally get it right"

I hope to follow my heart 100%. Amen Brother Amen.