But you didn't give him a chance..

"While we try to teach  children all about life, children teach us what life is all about."

It seems like ever since I have heard this quote. I wondered if it was really true..I have no children, my "little" brother is almost 16, and my "youngest" cousin is 15. 

In the last year, it seems like I have constantly been around children. It all started, when I got the job at the Davis pre-school. I was so so scared! Yes, I have babysat, but that was 4 children at the most! How can I be around 30 children at a time. How can 30 children fall in love with me? How could I fall in love with all of them? I was petrified of theese cute kids liking me. After the 1st minute, all my fears went away and for 10 months, I can say I had the time of my life. Those kids, taught me the true meaning of loving the little things in life.

I have been watching a 5 and a 7 year old girl, a couple times a week. Today I picked the 7 yr old up from a birthday party. She made sure to let me know her hair had to look perfect, because the boy that she liked was attending. After spending 1 hr on her extremely long hair, turning every strait strand into the crispest curl you have ever seen, she was ready to go.Finally.

I thought the party would go great, she would get their, feel like 10,000 bucks, her "crush" would tell her how pretty she was...you know what you picture in the cute movies...Well, I came to pick her up, and she was balling. It was awful, her face was splotched up. She told me her "crush" was being mean, he was with his boy friends and they decided to ignore her to be funny.. Well let me tell you this girl did not think it was funny. She cried hysterically for the next 2 hours But  she fell asleep..It was awful watching this...:(

Welp, the reason I typed this out is because once the 7 yr old cried herself to sleep, her little sister (age 5) was still awake. She was all distressed about her sisters crying. She told me that one day when her sister gets older that she will know that life is not all about boys. That boys were mean with their boy friends, and only sometimes nice. She then told me about this boy she used to like before he moved, but she found another boy so fast. haha. Before bed she gave me a book to read, I forgot the title but it was a little kids fairy tail ending. The kind you grin while you are reading. The really simple but gooeey ones! At the end she looked at me (so so serious by the way) and says "Ash? Are these books real? Do you think that you will find a guy like him someday?" I was speechless. This little girl was sounding so serious, and profound.

Now, don't get me wrong. All little girls grow up wanting to find their "prince charming" one day, but after heart breaks, you start to doubt this whole "prince charming" idea! Righttt, Doesn't that make since??Welp, at least this is true for me. I had no idea how to answer this.. So I said yeah I hope so. This little girl then said, that I would and all I needed to do was wait.. (like the girl in the book) and then he will just appear, only if I am nice to the boy. It was so cute the way she said it!

This whole situation just kinda hit home for me. I always wanted to find my prince charming. I think it is just a girl thing really. When I was little I was always pretending to be the princess, and make my friends be the "prince" galloping on the horse. In 3rd grade my friends and I wrote what we wanted our "prince" to look like. In 4th grade we wrote a note to our "prince"! In 5th grade we would have fake marriages on top of a hill. In 6th grade, we kinda got shy around guys. In 7th grade, we became just sporty friends with guys. In 8th grade we had "crushes". In 9th grade, our expectations, were shaken. And from 9th-12th, grade we saw cheaters, liars,and "cool guys", and the way they would try to be cool around girls. This has caused me just to block relationships out from some degree. I have tons of best friends that our guys, but I have made it where I could not see anymore. When a potential nice guy talks to me, I just cut myself off to an extant. Because why lower my walls for a quote nice guy. When they can just change into a player? That has been my thinking for a while. I am scared of letting down my walls, opening up, being myself, when any minute in could be burned to flames.Geeeet it???? After hearing "but you have to be nice to boys"... I began to think.. what if one of those nice guys I didn't give a chance was a nice guy. What if he wasn't a player?What if he told the truth?What if he liked who I was?What if he wasn't doing this to look "cool" with his friends? 

I'm trying my hardest to give guys the benefit of the doubt...and freeeak........................................ It's hard.