Welp.

This week has got to be one of the worst 10 days, I can even remember. I have never been so stressed, worried, and scared in my life. I hate the fear of  "not knowing".. I hate it so much, and that is exactly what is going on. Looking back, at all the struggles I have had in my life, they just prepared me for the next and next struggle.

I have never relied so much on God, and my family.

I talked to a woman yesterday, who was on bed rest, and she was super stressed out. But, she tried not to worry, because it would effect her baby..


When I  get stressed, I get stupid migraines. I used to take medicine, and they would just go away after 30 minutes. Since, my surgery.. I can't take medicine and it drives me insane! A couple days ago, my stomach started killing. I realized it was because I was so unhealthily stressed out about just everything going on in my life. I felt just like that pregnant woman. Knowing what is going on. Calling all day/everyday..and no one answering. Worrying about transferring schools, having all the classes filled, finals, paying for classes I don't even need...is so draining. Annnnd on top of that knowing, I can't stress out, or it will kill my stomach.  It's all a tad to much :)


I usually chalk up all my struggles, and just say "everything happens for a reason". When I moved, I knew there was a reason.  But for the life of me, I can't figure out why all of this is happening. I was doing "pretty good" this last week. I just kinda laughed about this whole situation... one bad situation...then the next...then the next.


But this morning, after getting 90 minutes of sleep, finding out that I spent a year in the wrong classes doing math, finding out that I have to pay $1000 on a class that will last 1 week, that I didn't even need to take, but have to now take ( So I don't end up with an F), getting put on hold for an hour, calling 6 different teachers and no one calling back, studying for finals, and having a whole 15 minute presentation to some how make up, doing this while having a migraine, and thinking about how all this stress is killing my stomach... I just lost it.


"Obstacles are put into your life, to see if what you want is worth fighting for..."


I am so thankful, I can talk to God, through prayer. I know that there is some reason,even though I have no idea what it is...that I am going through all this.