There ain't no price for being nice.

Missouri has tons of sayings. When I moved to Utah, I couldn't believe that people didn't say these cheesy/clever sayings. One saying people don't say like ever out here is..             "There ain't no price for being nice"

(Truest statement ever in my book...)

      Recently, all I have been seeing, and hearing are people being so darn cruel to each other. It makes me so so sick. I witness, popular students pick on unpopular people, I hear awful comments being said to the boy who doesn't wear the "right" type of clothes...etc.  Hearing these cruel comments, none the less breaks my heart. 

   Every time I hear a rude comment made to someone, I feel like it probably affects me a little too. I have always cared about people. I remember when I was like 4 and played with dolls. I would always make sure my dolls were nice to each other. I have always wondered why when I hear someone make a rude comment to someone, that in a strange way it bothers me as well. Shouldn't I just be happy it wasn't directed to me? But NO. I feel like maybe it's because I know what it feels like to hear the nasty comments being said? I know how it feels to "pretend" it doesn't bother me. Maybe I know what it is like years later, to still hear those nasty words? 

  

     Being the unpopular kid through most of my school years, I remember the way most of us coped. We "pretended"  we didn't like the "popular" kids. We pretended the harsh/ cruel words didn't bother us. But deep down, I know it got to me. I know it got to my so called "unpopular" friends as well...

   Years later, I was fortunate enough to view this all from another spectrum.  When I graduated high school, I was confident, and a lot of other traits "unpopular" kids, weren't supposed to acquire. 

So what happened? 

The girls that once looked down upon me, wanted to be my friends.

The guys who wouldn't think twice about my name, wanted my number.

....

It hit so fast.  At that moment, I was flattered. I was so happy. Finally. I was in the "popular" crowed.  the crowed I always wanted to be accepted into. I remember when I first hung out with some girls, all I remember was I was so happy to be there.  To my surprise, all they did was gossip. Make fun of all the "unpopular" kids. They were down right mean. I could not believe it. About a month later, I discovered the negative effects hanging of out with them was also having on me, so I decided I would stop seeing all of them.

....

When I started my 1st year of college, I wasn't sure what would go on. Surprisingly, I somehow turned into a "popular" girl.  The "older kids" wanted to be my friend, and honestly I just felt "COOL"... I was invited to all of these events, parties,dates, and everything else.  I liked it. I liked having friends. I liked walking into a class, and having people want to sit next to me. I liked it all..maybe a little too much.. 

I remember one day when I was in my English class we were supposed to divide into groups. There was several less "popular" students, and then the "cool" students. I remember that moment so clearly. I didn't think twice about what group, I wanted to join. I knew I was considered "popular" in that class, therefor I would walk right past the "less popular" students, and go sit with the "popular" ones. Lots of weeks later, I realized that I wasn't happy. Being popular wasn't what I thought it would be. I didn't want it any more.

All my life, I always got the same compliment, "Ashley you are so nice".  I always told myself, that if I ever became "popular" I would be nice.  Well, looking back...I wasn't.  I didn't talk to girls, that my "popular" friends didn't talk to. Why? Because that was the "cool" thing to do.  I only gave out my numbers to the guys who were considered "popular". I can't believe I weighed being "popular" above being "nice".

I guess the saying "the grass isn't always greener on the other side" is so true. Ever since that day, I can honestly say I don't care if I am considered popular or not. It kills me seeing others doing what I experienced. Prioritizing being cool, over being nice. What matters the most is how you treat people. I am so glad that I realized this. Even though I felt "COOL" those 4-5 month, I missed out on being myself.

Nice>Fitting In.