Swimsuits and a rant.

The picture on the left, I was on a cruise, at one of the ports and on the beach. I remember that my family went inside to change into their swimsuits and I didn't go change. Because I simply couldn't wear a swimsuit. Don't get me wrong plenty of girls wear swimsuits my size! Bigger! Smaller! I applaud ANYONE who wears a swimsuit! And for that matter I applaud ANYONE who wears whatever they choose to the beach! Holla! But for me personally, I couldn't find a swimsuit that covered me up, or stayed up, or just looked okay. Swim suit shopping was the worst. Almost as bad as Jean shooping. Holy cow, that was a nightmare. Also, I had very poor "body confidence" I could barely wear a short sleeve shirt. The thought of wearing something less than that terrified me. Petrified me really. I remember so clearly feeling so insecure. I still remember seeing this girl in a neon yellow bikini running around the beach. She looked amazing. I felt so insecure. I looked down and saw my capris and my short sleeve shirt on. (I actually wrote this incident in my little journal. Ha!) But the memory is still instilled in my head. I remember being bitter standing there on the beach. I mean how pitiful is it to feel upset when you are at a gorgeous beach?? I walked slowly into the ocean ( I honestly still feel how embarrassed I was--walking into the ocean with my clothes all on) and a wave smacked against me. I remember walking out of the ocean immediately. My clothes were hott. They stuck to me, and my tummy rolls were so prominent because my wet shirt was so stuck to me. I was so embarrassed. I immediately went and sat down. The feeling that I felt was a feeling of shame. The feeling of sadness. The feeling of just no self confidence. I truly thought I was a disgrace being at the beach. I felt this for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I wasn't that "ideal" look. Ya know? Flash forward to my last cruise. I ordered this swimsuit online and I have been so giddy ever since to wear it. Here is the thing, when you dream about something that you never knew that you could accomplish... The moment it happens you are straight up like a giddy two year old. It's ridiculous. Long story short. After a day of laying out and having a blast in the middle of the ocean, I got my mom

And I told her I needed a little photo of me in this little swim suit. After like the 2nd picture, I about lost it.. I never knew that I would feel "okay" or feel confident wearing a swimsuit. Yet alone fit in one. One of the most beautiful things that this journey has taught me is to love myself. I could not help but think of a couple short years earlier sitting on the beach in my wet shirt and wet pants feeling so sad because I wouldn't get an opportunity to wear a swimsuit. Little did I know. 

I write this because I know what it is like to feel like you are a disgrace. I know what it is like to feel "too fat" to go to the beach. Or feel too "flabby" to get in your swimsuit. I know what it is like to want something so bad. I get it! Even though I was bigger, I wish that I had the confidence to feel okay wearing regular clothes on that beach. I wish I could go back in time and rock that wet short sleeve shirt and not worry about it! I'm here begging you, if you think you are "too fat" or too "flabby" or whatever you feel that is holding you back, forget it! Jump in the pool anyway, embrace it! Walk into that ocean!

 Enjoy your day. AND when you are done and you want to loose weight, or improve your body, or get healthier.. Do that too! But I beg you to live! Embrace yourself. Do it for me! Do it for you! Do it for the "Future You" (another future swimsuit post--is in the future, can't wait to write about it) By the way!!! I got my swimsuit top from the ever so popular Victoria Secret. I sometimes can't get myself to buy $50 matching swimsuit bottoms so I got my bottoms at Old Navy for super cheap! Yay!

Xoxoxo -Ashley-

Ps: Also, how great is this quote. And how true! Hahaha. I can relate to it so much!

Real, Real, with a side of Realzz.

TODAY IS NATIONAL MAKE YOUR OWN HOLIDAY DAY. 

I had like 12 holidays that I wanted to declare, but one seemed right today. And I won't get into detailed specifics but I just think people in general are scared to keep things REAL. Whether it be the fear of opening up, the fear of getting judged, or maybe even the fear of not keeping up their "persona". Andddd since today is NATIONAL MAKE YOUR OWN HOLIDAY DAY  (No, seriously it is--how fun) and I think we need a specific day out of the year to realize that we need to be REAL. Ya? Ya? I mean I think this holiday should be every single day! Riiiight? We should be keeping it real all day every day... But maybe today we can make a goal to be keepin it REAL every day. I am dedicating this post to "KEEPING IT REAL DAY" Becauseeee I'm all about that REAL LIFE SEAG! So here is my post: READY. Set. Go. ( I am such a good blogger---YAY...jk)

One thing that scares me so much is just throwing my feelings and thoughts out there into the universe. It scares me because what may make sense in my head (or in one persons head) for that matter will probably not make any sense into someone else's. But what I've learned is that people relate to REAL. REAL is hard. When you are REAL a little part of you has to open up fully. Which means people can judge their hearts out. 

The last two years especially have been some of the most "gratifying" years to date. So many opportunities have come my way and it just humbles my little ole' heart. I feel overwhelmed quite a bit with so much happening. 

A couple nights ago I was reading through my emails and every time I do that I just want to cry and yell and scream with excitement and go eat a thousand celebration donuts. Because, I never imagined people would be emailing me thanking me for opening up and talking about my story. My story about being a victim. My story about getting bullied. My weightless struggles and triumphs.  It doesn't seem real. 

As I reflected back on everything, I tried to think of a defining moment. (Because after all doesn't everyone have a defining moment--And there REALLY isn't for

Me) I mean I wish I could say, at this point in my life, this happened. But I am not too sure. And like I said I'm keeping it REAL ladies and gents. Looking back on everything I do know that one event, more or less transformed and came about to present other opportunities. 

My last year of college I had to take a public speaking course. I was dreading it. Dreading it, I tell you. I had a hard professor and I knew NO ONE. Do you know those times where you walk in a room and you just feel like you have no connection with anyone? Well this was one of those times. Before the 1st class we had received emails from the teacher telling us to prepare a certain speech and we would give our speeches the first day of class. PETRIFYING. 

The instructions said to give a speech about something that you are passionate about. With little to no hesitation, I knew I should do bullying. I had so many thoughts on bullying. I mean for PETE SAKES, I was a victim to this? Shouldn't  that make it easier?But as I was preparing my speech, I realized that I never once was open about this to that many people. Let alone intimidating college students. Who I have never met.

 I sat in the back of the room. My hands were ice cold and I honestly thought I was going to vomit. It was finally my time to get up. I stood up and literally swallowed my gum as I walked to the front of the room (rule #1- you will be docked five points for chewing gum.) COOL.

I started my speech the only way I knew how "You are fat. You are ugly. You are not good enough.These are the constant words I was told by a fellow classmate" I wish I could come up with some more verbs/adjectives or something but the only word to describe how I felt was petrified.   

After a couple of minutes making sure that I was looking around and making sure that I wasn't using the word 'um' because heaven Forbid I get docked another 5 points. Ha! I saw this woman crying. I kept talking and i straight up heard someone sniff. And I was shocked. I mumbled through my speech and ran to my spot. Shoved two pieces of gum in my mouth and just waited till this awkward class was over. 

I sprinted out of class and a girl in the class came up to me and thanked me for talking about that subject. I think this was the first time I was "thanked" more or less for talking about bullying. 

A couple of weeks later we all met again to give our speeches. We had to keep with the subject we originally picked and we had to bring a prop. I researched about a prop that could go with 'bullying' and found the neatest exercise to do with a wrinkled sheet of paper! So I gave a whole new speech about the consequences of bullying and did the little activity. After class another lady came up to me and gave me her email and Hugged me and told me she had to email me asap. 

I drove home wondering what on earth this classmate was going to tell me? Later that evening, she emailed me and She asked me to do the activity with her child and her friends (who bullied a neighbor) and at this point I was beyond nervous. 

Weeks later and After the semester I was presented with the opportunity to talk to elementary and middle school age children/ high school students(OH MY GOODNESS SCARY)/ and college students about bullying. I felt so not qualified. I mean at the time I was studying elementry education. I wasn't a bullying therapist. Or expert. I didn't know the proper terms. I was simply overwhelmed. 

After one of my speeches, I was talking to some junior high girls about bullying, and at the end (during small talk) I mentioned that I felt so under qualified. I told her I didn't even have my bachelors yet... And all my thoughts. The next week I received a letter from her telling me, long story short that my speech was so relatable because it was real, and true to me. She wrote that no qualification can 'qualify' you to how you really feel! It makes sense. And to be honest, I don't know how I was so naive to believe that my  story didn't give me a reason to voice my thoughts and experiences regarding bullying. 

Looking back at the opportunities that presented itself, I am just thankful that one opportunity led to the next. I remember when I first posted on social media about my thoughts on bullying and the messages poured in. It's crazy. I went to see an academic counselor my last months of college and she straight up asked me if I wanted to make a career giving speeches about 'bullying' and I laughed right in her face because who on earth cares about that My story. I didn't have any experience, and I never imagined how gratifying that would be. Looking back, I know she was placed in my life to give me something to think about. To give me more of an open mind. 

I think opening up to people takes a lot to get used too. I have never been an open person, really. But this last year I have more or less opened up about certain things and the response is contagious. Emails telling me that they are/were a victim, and I gave them the power to speak up will forever hold a special place in my heart. I think people just have to be real and open and honest and genuine about life. Ya know?? I mean, so many people get bullied. Whether it is terrible names, via social media, texting, in person, gossip. It's such a "hush hush" subject because it's a terrible thing to experience. Why would people want to admit that they were not the "popular" or " most liked" girl or boy in their high school? Why would someone want to admit that someone made a mean fake account about them? I GET IT. I totally do.Everyone has a desire to be well liked. So when you are not, it's not the most pleasant to speak about. But I promise you, if you speak about the REAL experiences even if they are UNPLEASANT. People are gonna react. And they are going to react because I bet your bottom dollar they can relate. Let's keep today real REAL babes. Cuz who doesn't need a little "real" in the day. Xxxx. 

What the? 10,000 babes follow me?

One morning I woke up and low and behold boooom! I saw my Instagram followers list sky rocketed. And there it was a cutesy k next to the number 10? That means around 10,000 people in this universe follow me! Get out. Okay okay okay, let me just have a shallow moment. I was so excited but yet nervous. Happy so many people care about my posts but worrisome my posts are boring.                                                                                       Social media in general is so the "in thing" right now. It's crazy to wrap your head around it all. I have a love/hate relationship with insta (mostly love;)) I love pictures. I document my life to the best of my ability. I take pictures whenever I have a chance. Of everything. Seriously. Since Instagram is full of all my the loves I mentioned above, it only makes sense that my heart loves it so much. I posted a while ago a "before and after" picture of my weightloss transformation. The response was incredible.  Simply overwhelming. I was actually super nervous, but I am so glad I did. Since shedding a little light on my story I have met so many amazing people through it. So many people who have been bullied, and choose to believe in themselves. So many amazing people all over the world. And that is another big reason I love this whole social media franchise. I love how you can become "insta-friends" instantly....ha! Social media is time consuming, and I feel so bad when I don't respond to people. I am beyond flattered you all want to know my thoughts on different matters, but yet I feel so guilty when I see that I haven't responded in weeks! But I am making a conscious effort to go through all my messages! Reason two is that sometimes people are mean. The more you put yourself out there and expose your life, the more chance you take for someone to comment negative or throw negative energy on your page. That's a little intimidating if you ask me. So fair warning. If you bring negativity to my page, I'll block you. I want my page to be a page of kindess as cheesy as that sounds!  Moving on... I just wanted to yell a big Thank You to all 10,000 of you. Thanks for all your sweet messages, and comments. I know so many people have millions of followers but they are the definition of cool cats. My posts consists of all my obsessions such as caffeine, uncoordinated dance moves, my sweet pup looking cute, my dream to see Ellen Degeneres, weightless journey, traveling adventures, Shania Twain, delicious food, dirty hair, weird tips and tricks, some of my favorite products, traveling whenever I get the chance,and clothing.. Definitely not your Kim K status! For sure! Ha ha!                                                                                    I have been asked so much about starting a blog. For months now, and that blows my mind. I have a personal blog? From years ago that I haven't updated in months until this post ( take that baby). I remember joking back with with a follower and saying that I will when 10,000 people follow. (Straight up knowing that would never happen) I suck at writing, and don't even know how often I could post. I have been contacted about starting a blog about my weight loss story, dealing with bullying, and just how I overcame it. The terms and conditions weren't right, and I want to do what I feel comfortable doing. I am so busy with school, I know there is no way I can give my 100 to both and and do it the best that I can under those terms and conditions! At this time. However, I know that there could be so much good coming from it. I am thinking about "keepen it casual" over here on this personal blog at the moment.  If you have any questions you want me to try to answer dm me and I'll try to post about them?! Sound like a plan, Dan?Keep your eye out!😜 long story short. You all inspire me to be better, to laugh a little longer, and to take a clearer picture to post on insta? Thanks for following my life and being so supportive! Happy FRIDAY! Let's celebrate with a happy dance full of uncoordinated dance moves ya'll! 

2013.

What. A. Year. 

     Last year on January 1st, 2013 I was with my boyfriend (at the time)so excited for a new year to come marching itself in the door. We watched the ball drop in my theater room and I had my first New Years kiss. ever. How precious. Hahaha;) 

    My life a year ago is so different then it is now. This New Years Eve I was on a date with Spencer. We went to city creek, did some shopping, dinner and then went to his family party in Bountiful. The final minutes before The ball dropped I ran to my car to grab my purse and Kyle came with me.. He asked me if I was excited to bring in the new year?                             

  And then my mind went thinking...

    Every year before the ball drops I always do a weird recap of the soon to be previous year. I could not even hold back my watery eyes in front of Kyle. The last year of my life has been the most influential and growing year ever. I think it has been the most influential because I have experienced so many firsts. In general in the last year I have experienced just SO MANY THINGS. Which caused me to grow up. A lot. My life has changed dramatically over the last year. After a billion thoughts that came to my mind I have narrowed it down to a couple events that this last year brought, that I learned to be thankful for.

    -Last January I was in a relationship with a guy I had strong feelings for. Let's face it. I was head over heels in love with him. Dating this guy.. Taught me A LOT. But I especially learned to fall in love. I learned to love. I learned to let people in my life. I learned to be vulnerable. And I learned to trust.                      

  -I then experienced a break up with him. My first break up. ( I have reflected a lot on all of it and I am so glad that I am in such a great place in my life with it all and can talk about it without feeling angry or sad). Even though I was upset that my relationship crumbled before my eyes. And I was upset at the time that things did not work out, I learned a heck of a lot. I learned that God puts people in my life for a reason. I learned to love myself during the time when I was single. I learned to be strong. I learned it was okay to cry. I learned it was okay to be angry. It was okay to be bitter. But I also learned to heal. I think for me, to learn to heal was one of the most important things I learned this year. A couple months after my break up I  realized that I never had time to let my heart heal. I was constantly on the go. I didn't want to "lets say" deal with the fact that I missed being in love. I missed being in a relationship. I missed having someone that knew so much about me. I missed our stupid sayings and our cheesy jokes. I learned that you can not truly move on with your life until you accept the past for what it was and move on. This probably makes 0 sense at all but hear me out. After my break up I figured out who I was. It blows my mind that for 20 years I wasn't totally comfortable with ME. I lived my life almost basing it on what people thought of me. Looking back if I didn't go through something that more or less "broke my heart" at the time, who knows where I would be now. Even though breaking up was "mutual" I had some doubts. I was so scared I would never love someone? What if I should of tried harder? Blah. Blah. Blah. It was getting THE best of me. Probably typical break up thoughts but it got to a point it just made me bitter and sad for a while. I would see my ex at school and just walk a million miles just to avoid him. It was ridiculous.  I feel like the best way I learn things is from experiences that happen to  me personally. There is no doubt God knows that too. I started praying that I would be able to heal, and move on.. If it wasn't from the help of my Heavenly Father I probably would be still  stuck in the past "reminiscing". Don't get me wrong I want the best for my ex, I really really do. I have thee hardest time listening to people bash him in front of me...however, the only way to describe how I feel is just..I don't care what goes on with him. And I am so greatful for that feeling and so grateful I finally moved on.                    

    -In the summer I went on a road trip with my mom and best friend while taking 20 credits at school. I learned that homework is awful to do on vacations;) However, most importantly I learned that you need to reward yourself for hard work. Taking 20 credits in the summer really made me learn discipline. That was a roughhh semester.                            

    - I also went on a trip back home. On the flight back 3 suitcases of clothes and items from when I was little got stolen from me. I learned to forgive more and I learned even more not to put my pride in worldly items. I learned to treasure memories instead of items more. Even though I love my clothes so much that got stolen. They were darling. And cute. And so dang expensive.

        -I also have been on a ton of dates with guys who were totally disrespectful and so not respectful toward girls.I learned to not take offense. I learned to pick guys a little better. I also learned that one bad date just means a good guy is coming sooner than later;) And not to throw my hands in the air, and just give up. Which I wanted to do after every single date.

      -In 2013 I also completed 3 more semesters of college. I learned to appreciate my education a whole lot. I also have never been so determined to graduate college either. Ever since I was little I pictured myself as a teacher. A couple months ago it hit me that I needed to change my major and for some odd reason pursue another major. I was/am still shocked. Next semester will be my first semester taking communication classes. This whole situation has taught me to pray to God and listen for his answers. I know this is what I am supposed to do for right now in my life. I am learning to have so much faith. I love having a plan. And elementary education has always been my plan. But now, not knowing what on earth I'm getting myself into just blows my little ole mine. But having faith in God and HIS plan for me brings me comfort. I know Gods plan for me is much better than 1/4 my plan could ever be. So this next semester will be definitely interesting.                

  - This last year my life has been so frequently consumed with so many children. Between student teaching for a semester, volunteering at an elementary special ed classroom, teaching the 8 year old class at my church, and nannying, I have been around SO many kids. They have taught me that life has so much GOOD in it. The innocence and love that they have for life is impeccable.                              

  -4 of my great friends decided to ditch me and go on missions this year. I miss them so stinken much. Buuuuuuut having "my girls" out doing their mission stuff has made me so much more aware of the sacrifices that missionaries around the world are making. It totally opens your eyes when you know missionaries first hand. Yet alone your best friends all being missionaries. Soooooo I have been giving gifts to the missionaries in my ward. It has blessed me SO much and I have developed a love to serve. Weird. I know.

   -Along that line. Before one of my best friends left on her mission we went on a drive. It was such an amazing experience. We laughed and talked about how much we would miss each other and how far we both have come. She jokingly said,"Ash you should go on a mission too!" And my response was probably some kind of chuckle and a big fat no. We kept driving and she looked at me and told me something like my mission could be just serving others who need it.. And for some strange reason it hit me. Since the day she left I have been trying to serve the people who need it. Every single time I see someone homeless I give them water, food, and money.  I help children who needs toys. I talk with elderly people who need someone to listen too. The first couple weeks of doing this I had in my head "man, these people must really be enjoying me helping them" (That was like a compound sentence gone wrong or something--pay no attention to that). Ohh how prideful of me. And then BOOM. It hit me that I was the one learning from them. I am glad that in 2013 I learned to love serving others. When I drive off I always hear the words that my amazing bestie told me "that my mission could be here too". 

      This last year has been filled with so many struggles and successes, and so many ups and downs. Just so many learning experiences in general.This last year so many people have come into my life. I don't think I have ever met so many new and amazing people in a short 12 months before. It blows my mind. I am so thankful for everyone that God so graciously put into my life in 2013. I am truly excited for what 2014 has in store for me.  Happy 2014 folks:)

November Happenings.

The last time I blogged was Halloween?

I flat out suck at blogging. 

So lets play catch up on the month of November.

Every year November seems to fly by so fast. Since I have a sick obsession to document my life through pictures, I will just post those. 

In November I...

*Put away this lovely hat for the winter. It always just feels like a summer hat...and I love it so much, I wore it all the way into November. We will reunite again shortly. (5 months). Also I had a fun shopping and dinner date with my momma!

*Spent time nannying this "kissy face boy".

...And we ended our walks before the freezing weather came.

 *Took this lovely picture...hahaha makes me laugh every time I see it. 

*Had some movie nights with these cute grandparents of mine. 

 

 *Went on a little family outing at Buffalo Wild wings, and tried some of the spiciest chicken. I about had a coughing death at that booth because of it.

*Went to several jazz games this month...But this is the first game the jazz finally one. Oh.My.Gosh. They were doing really really bad for a while..

Celebrated the victory at the Cheesecake factory with Richard Jefferson who I saw there.

 *Spent some time with this funny girl, whose missionary just got home. But that didn't happen until December, so forget I said it on here...;)

*Fed my addiction way to often.

Addiction=Diet Cherry Mtn Dew at 7/11.

*Ate at Kneaders, like daily. hahaha.

 *Crafted my little heart out and made a bazzillion Thanksgiving presents for people. And the bags that you are looking at above,they are turkeys. Not owl's. I made like 120 of everything. It.was.a.bad.idea.

*Ventured to Olive Garden and ate a million breadsticks this month. This time we went with my grandma's friends. This was also the day of a huge windstorm.

*Had Thanksgiving with my fam bam at Texas Roadhouse the day before.haha.

*Black Friday Shopped my brains out with my adorable grandma. We hit so many amazing deals and had a blast. Funny Story: I got a good 10 hours of sleep the days leading up to Black Friday, due to so so so much homework. At 4am on Black Friday I was DEAD tired, and I wanted to take a nap for 10 minutes in my car and resume. My grandma totally vetoed it and said we had to hurry for more and more deals. Needless to say we were out for like 2 days straight. I. Kid. You. Not.

 ...After this whole incident I mentioned above^, I sat on the floor and fell asleep. My grandma (who knows nothing about technology), whipped out her phone (which is ancient) and figured out how to take a picture. Then woke me up. I was SO impressed. First off. Way to go grandma! Second off. I can not believe no one stole all my bags. Thaaaank Heavens. 

*We got back Black Friday shopping the next night, and I went to dinner with my bro and Scarlet.

*The next night I went to bed at like 1am. Super early for me this month. At 2am I get a call from Ryan asking me to go to the grocery store with him because he has to make something for school or something? First off, what junior in college needs to make food for their communication major? I still don't get what it was for, so I probably just butchered the story he said. Anyway, I climbed out of bed and went to Smiths with him. I was exhausted and obviously looked adorable as well. I get home, and get a text,"Ash I can't believe you went to Smiths with me with different boots on, you are a trooper. Sleep great." Uhh...Okay. I had no idea I had different boots on. And I loved how he actually thought I would care if I did. I personally think I am rocking my gym shorts and UGGS. Hahah So ugly.

The next day or something I headed down to Idaho so early in the morning. This was my first time ever going to Idaho. There was nothing there. It was an odd place. But, it was pretty on the drive. Here is a picture of me doccumenting my first time in Idaho with an ever so classy gas station picture.So cheers to that.

As I was driving back at like 5 I was so tired. I received a text from my mom wanting to know if I wanted to go to the Jazz game which started in like 2 hours. I said yes, and went so fast and made it to the game only like 15 minutes late. Also, I changed clothes and did my hair in the most ghetto bathroom ever in SLC. Guys, it was so bad. And gross. And scary. And I had at least 3 heart attacks in there, thinking I was for sure going to get raped. I never realized how tired I looked in the picture above. I was a total zombie at the game.

The last month in the back of my mind I am realizing that theese are my last days being a student teacher. Or teaching children in a classroom. It breaks my heart knowing that, but I know I am suposde to be going down some other unfamiliar path,which honestly scares the pee out of me. Every single day since Fall Semester started, I have been around children. I posted this picture on Instagram and Facebook with this caption
 
"I was going to post pics of all my friends and family that I was thankful for this Thanksgiving but I had way to many people to fit in this little square. Today I am so thankful for all the children in my life. This semester I was given so many crazily exciting opportunities to be with children. I nanny the sweetest most loving children in the world. I student teach the most loving,stubborn, and precious children that tries my patience daily. I teach a primary class at church who are crazy monkeys that never want to listen. Recently, I have been volunteering in a special ed elementary school, where I fell completely In love with those full hearted angels. Between all of the children,crafts,lesson plans, sweet letters, and sleepless nights, I have realized how thankful I am for ALL of it.So today I am thankful for all the many children that I have fell in love with over the last couple months. Even though there are days that I do not want to be mauled to death...I am forever greatful for all the hugs,kisses,and love these children show to me constantly. Between the boogers that get handed to me, or the amount of sleep I loose, or the crying fits that last way to long, or the stubbornness that occurs all the time, or the sneezes that take place 2 inches away from my face,I am forever greatful for all these little bodies I have been lucky enough to love. All these children have taught me more than they will ever know. My patience has increased,my tollerence for germs has died down a littleand my heart is fuller. So very thankful for all the many children in my life. You all have taught me what life is all about"

My heart is overwhelmed for all the children I come in contact with daily. The innocence and pure joy for life these children show me every day is what I have learned to be thankful for this last Thanksgiving. There is no doubt in my mind God knew what he was doing when I decided to have the busiest schedule of my life, committing to all these activities, involving children. These precious children have taught me so much, and I am so very thankful for them.

 

I am also thankful for:

My family.

My religion. 

My 3 precioud dogs.

Great Health.

Diet Cherry Mtn. Dew.

Education.

Fingernail polish.

Helping others. 

and 

Shopping Trips.

Just to name a few...;)

 

 

H.A.L.L.O.W.E.E.N.

Halloween.
I love holidays so much.
This haloween was probably my all time favorite.Probably because for 2 weeks straight it was full of all sorts of Haloween festives. 

Being a nanny has some perks believe it or not. One of those perks in my opinion is that I can incorporate Halloween festives during my "work". The little girl I watch wanted to bring a couple of her friends with her. I agreed because I wanted them to have fun. 5 girls and a baby at the pumpkin patch was surprisingly much better then I thought. We went to a little pumpkin patch. When we  were standing in line to purchase pumpkins, the girls decided they wanted to watch Halloween movies instead of "painting" and "carving" their pumpkins. So we carried our pumpkins all the way back to the patch, and ditched the patch. 

On the way home we had a suprise visit to the $1 store. Where we picked out 4 fun things. While I was there, i saw THE CUTEST FOAM PUMPKINS. They also had little faces that you could stick in the pumpkin?! I never saw this before. The next day I was going on a date to "carve pumpkins" and the winner would get $100. Well I suck at carving pumpkins and so did the guy that I was going on a date with (we may or may not have practiced;)) So I bought the foam pumpkin and little faces to stick in the pumpkin. I texted him right away and we were stoked. 
Here is our pumpkin that won us a $25 Olive Garden gift card for being the most "creative". hahahah. WOHOO!

 I could not believe it! I will never get rid of this pumpkin, or forget the story behind it...hahaha;)

My brother went to his SENOR HALLOWEEN DANCE. First off how is he about to graduate. That blows my mind. I was so sick...and looked so stinken bad, but I had to document him going! That is what crazy photo-loving big sisters do right?!

Here is a picture from Frightmares. I hate people that look scary on Haloween. I literately want to cry thinking about it. Nightmares for days. I tried to keep "cool" as these scary creatures popped in the picture one by one.

 

So on Saturday night I went to a totally last minute Halloween party. I had 3 Haloween parties to go to later on in the week, and already planned those costumes. I didn't want to wear the same outfit twice..So here is my impromptu "Dorothy look." I also had red slipers which gave me blisters, and lasted a good 5 minutes.

Then 48 hours later I turned into a 1950's girl. This costume was so much fun. I felt like I was a 6 year old girl. Plus I haven't had my hair in high-curly-pony for years. Not to mention the bow in my hair, or the poodle on the skirt..;) This dance I learned to wear some comfy shoes. Thank you TOMS.

 

48 hours later I was a clown. This was THE TIGHTEST outfit ever. I barely could pull this bad boy up. Imagine the tightest spandex outfit ever. I really enjoyed this outfit. It was flat out F.U.N. And even though I was the most "covered up" girl in the whole land of salt lake city, and even though I was paranoid that my chest was going to rip through this tight spandex..I was okay with it. The covered up part. Not the popping out..hahaha. 

While I was Halloween shopping I found a matching clown outfit and tutu in the children's section. I ran to grab it and was so excited to get it for Allie (my doggy). I was a little concerned because it was spandex and was a body suit you had to put your feet in first. I didn't know how well she was going to like it, so I was a tad nervous. I kid you not, she loved it. I love her SO MUCH. Every day I love her more and more. Having her for years since she was a baby, loving the heck out of her daily, just really does something to my heart. I literately think she is like a child. Sue me.

 Here is my Allie-girl.

Last but not least I was some crazy rocker girl. This tutu weighed like 50 lbs. I was wearing 3 pairs of lashes, 6 inch heels, and poofed the goodness out of my hair. My friends and I went to a part with our Provo friends in Provo. It was the best party yet. It was so much fun, and it was a blast to be with so many friends I love. 

Here are some lovely pics from a Haunted House. Enjoy..:)

I have a million other "Haloween pictures"..but they won't upload, and I have to leave to go volunteer in 4 hours! I volunteer at a Elementary Special Education classroom. How did I ever go to school that early in Elementary? I am terribly excited, for my first day tomorrow. Wish me luck.

HOPE YOU ALL HAD A SPOOKTACULAR HALLOWEEN!

 

 

\\F.A.L.L. F.O.O.D\\

I am obsessed with this season.

Fall always has the prettiest weather.

The Most delicious Food.

The cutest clothes.

Halloween festivity.

Thanksgiving is around the corner.

Christmas is around the next. 

Leaves are colorful.

It just seems that FALL has it all.

Today's post is on the...

 "Fall Food." 

 Once upon a time, I had a spur of the moment trip planned to California during Fall Break. My best friend and I planned it 4 days before leaving.. Plans fell through 2 days before fall break. I was so bummed! I was so excited for a little get-away vacation. During Fall Break I learned hundreds of reasons why I wasn't mean to be in California at that time. God is SO great:)
Anyway..during those 2 days, I was on a crash eating healthy spree. Starbucks "spinach and egg white wrap" with a glass of water was my "healthy" meal..and boy was it surprisingly delicious.
When I realized I was not going on vacation, I threw the "Healthy thoughts" out of the window.. and enjoyed my "Fall-Food" Before the season is over, and the fun fall foods become less "Fall-y"

 

I am a huge fan of CARAMEL POPCORN. I went to the little Kaysville Theater and found some awhile ago. Since, I hate regular popcorn, I enjoy this little treat so much. Thank you Kaysville Theater, Thank you. 

 
 My friends are the cutest. A couple months ago I texted my friends just saying I was having a bad day. They then texted back.. "Bad Day Bagel Day?" Ever since then,  

"Bad Day Bagel Day"

was invented and we love it.

Bagels are even better in the Fall I tell ya.

Pumpkin anything kills me. It is all fabulous. 

Pumpkin Shakes are back. I may or may not have had a million of these this October. 

Best ever. 

For some reason this picture will not turn:(

Dinner Dates with my bro at Olive Garden are just great. Fall or not. 

Hot Coco.  So Good.

Last but not least this picture makes me still laugh. I was leaving work and found the note, Diet Coke and cake pops on my car. 1.) The note cracks me up. 2.) I love how my friends know me so well. 3.) I still have no idea who this "Secret Admirer" is..but I receive Cake Pops and Diet Coke on the regular from him..and I sadly am way to scared to ever take a sip or eat a cake pop:(

Thank you Fall for providing the most delicious foods in the world & allowing me to gaining weight...:)

But really. Thanks.